We’ve all been there. You craft the perfect message. You list the benefits. You address objections. You make it “clear, compelling, and compliant.” And then…

Crickets.

It’s a maddening cycle: the more you try to convince, the more invisible you become.

Here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud in the benefits industry: convincing is a losing game. It’s exhausting for you and numbing for them.

It’s rooted in an assumption that was never true to begin with—that logic leads behavior. It doesn’t. Emotion does. Identity does. Readiness does.

And if you’re not aligning with those, no amount of “persuasion” will move the needle.

The good news? There’s a way out. But it means getting honest about what engagement really requires.

Most people aren’t on the same frequency as your message
The segmentation work we do is built on a simple premise: people don’t ignore benefit messages because they’re lazy or apathetic. They ignore them because the message wasn’t meant for them.

• Not in tone.

• Not in timing.

• Not in texture.

Some employees are driven - goal-oriented and hungry for results. Some are drawn—emotionally attuned and wired for harmony. And others still are disengaged but curious, waiting for something to click before they lean in.

If you’re sending the same message to all of them, you’re essentially broadcasting on a frequency only a few can hear. The rest? Static.

The lens test: are you trying to convince, or invite?
You know that bulky metal device an optometrist swings in front of your face during an eye exam? It’s called a phoropter. One lens after another clicks into place, and with each change, the doctor asks, “Which is clearer: this one, or that one?”

The diagnostic is simple. Look at your next open enrollment email, webinar intro, or benefits landing page and ask:

• Am I trying to convince someone to care?

• Or am I inviting them into something that already matters to them?

That subtle difference—between broadcasting a pitch and extending a hand—changes everything. You move beyon wordsmithing, to world view.

When you stop trying to change people’s minds and instead speak to their motivations, they start changing their own behavior. Quietly. Authentically. On their own terms.

You can't use a phoropter from from across the room. Your "patient" has to feel - even experience - the options. It's your job to find the lenses that bring the world into sharper focus for them.

That’s the essence of what benefit communication should be.

No! - You must choose this lens!
A phoropter doesn’t insist on a lens. It offers one, compares it, and invites feedback. It moves quickly, but it’s not rushed. It’s clinical and intuitive at once. And most importantly: it’s personalized in real time.

The metaphor runs deep.

Too often, we build communications assuming we already know the right lens—and we push it out to everyone, regardless of how blurry it feels on the receiving end. What if we stopped doing that? What if we started testing lenses with the people we’re trying to reach, and let their response guide the fit?

It doesn't remove the education; it refines the clarity.

Because once someone finds the lens that brings their priorities into focus, the rest of the conversation unfolds naturally.

From explaining to aligning
So what does this look like in practice?

• For the high-achieving segment, you don’t “convince” them to use their HSA. You show them how it accelerates their goals.

• For the anxious-yet-hopeful group, you don’t push the EAP. You whisper that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed—and here’s a gentle next step.

• For the skeptical explorers, you give them room to browse. You create space, not pressure.

The work isn’t about being louder. It’s about being more in tune.

The last word
The convincing business is like the rabbit hole—it leads to Wonderland, where the Mad Hatter is the VP of Engagement. But your role isn’t to explain the world. It’s to warp the frame just enough to make people see it differently.

Start where you are. Start with one segment. Pick one message. Rewrite it to align, not to convince. Use their lens. Not yours. Because when you stop trying to change minds—and start inviting hearts—you won’t need to be in the convincing business anymore.

They’ll see it.

They’ll feel it.

And they’ll move.

~ Mark Head
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